It’s totally normal to be embarrassed at first, but you’ll feel better once you get it over with.
Maybe you want to go over what that means in terms of safer sex precautions, medication and how to generally deal with it. Or you could simply tell them you have an STI, and ask if they have any questions. You could open by asking them about their sexual health history, and if they ever had an STI or currently have one. Open up the discussionĪ good way to start is by telling your partner that you care about them and want to do everything you can to make sure you’re protecting them. Some people like to get it over and done with, others prefer to go on a few dates and get to know the person first (in a non-sexual way of course!)-it’s up to you, and also depends on how soon you want to have sex. You might want to make plans to check in with a supportive friend after. Prepare for the talkĭo it at a time and place where you feel safe and confident, especially if you're not sure how it will go. If you’re not able to meet in person or you don’t feel safe doing that, you could also message or video chat with your partner-it all depends on your relationship and how you prefer to communicate. If possible, have an exit nearby so you can leave the discussion and get away from the person if their reaction is aggressive or makes you feel unsafe. If you decide to meet and talk face to face, choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable to have this discussion. This allows you to find out if your partner has any STIs, and gives both of you the chance to make an informed decision about what types of sex you want to have and what safer sex precautions you want to take.
Whether it's a casual or serious relationship, it’s important to discuss your sexual health history with your partner, and ask them about theirs. If you have a genital STI, then it’s important to tell your partner before you have any type of sex: fingering, oral sex, vaginal, or anal sex. Depending on which STI you have, you might need to tell them even earlier: If you have oral herpes, you should tell them before you kiss. The best time to talk about this is before you start having sex (including oral sex). Talk to your partner before sexual contact (and if you have oral herpes, before kissing) Remember that lots of people have STIs and don’t know it, so if you know your status and act responsibly, the chance of passing on the STI is low. Do some research so you can feel confident about symptoms and treatment, and how the STI can be transmitted. Get the factsĭon’t believe everything you hear about STIs. It’s still important to talk to any dates or partners about your sexual histories and safer sex, and remember to get tested again in a few months.īut what if you were diagnosed with an STI? Here are the next steps. So it’s a good idea to get tested at the beginning of any sexual relationship, and then again a few months later-and practice safer sex in the meantime. And some STIs, including Human immunodeficiency virus ( HIV), don’t show up on a test until months after a person gets them, but can still be passed to others. Most STIs get passed on when there are no symptoms, and people don’t realize they’re infected. It’s possible to have an STI without knowing it. So how to tell your partner you have an STI? Here’s a step-by-step list.
Research shows that people who disclose their STI status to their partners have significantly more positive feelings about their sexual self-concept than those who don’t disclose (3). It’s important to break down the unnecessary shame and stigma associated with STIs-this stigma causes increased rates of STI transmission, prevents people from getting treatment, and negatively affects their health and quality of life (2). Openly discussing sexual health is not something we are taught to do, but it’s an important part of caring for ourselves and others.
In a nationally representative US health survey, 24% of teenage girls who were tested were found to have an STI, most commonly Human papillomavirus ( HPV), which often has no noticeable symptoms (1). STIs are common, especially among sexually active teenagers and young adults. There’s a lot of misinformation and stigma about sexual infections, and they can be uncomfortable to discuss. This article is also available in: português, español